Turtle, turtle, stay away
No sir, no sir, we shall not play.
I know you seem alright to me
But still, a snapper you could very well be.
Don’t look at me like that! I used to love turtles.
But one day one murdered my Great Aunt and now my blood curdles
Every time I see so much as a bright green shell
Or smell that distinctive, boggy smell.
Turtle, turtle, leave me be
No sir, no sir, there’s no chance you see
I know you seem alright to me
But so did Suicide Squad and that movie was crappy.
Don’t get me wrong, most turtles are cool,
But one once stole my wallet at the neighborhood swimming pool
He stole my identity just like that
And ran off with his friends to buy some crack.
Turtle, turtle, please don’t cry
Fine, fine, I’ll give you a try
Holy hell what’s that I see?
Where did you even buy an AR-15?
And why, oh why, do turtles hate me???
Comments